dysphoria
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I didn’t want any flowers, I only wanted / To lie with my hands turned up and be utterly empty.



thecuriouscaseofkatie:

http://mountholyoke.tumblr.com/post/93499794495/everyone-at-moho-seem-to-be-gifted-in-every-way   

Everyone at Moho seem to be gifted in every way possible ( musically, did internships, athletic, did so many clubs) and they’re super smart. All I did was study and did some clubs here and there; somehow I got in. I’m not the best writer/eloquent person in the world and I bet everyone there is…

As a firstie, I guarantee that we can procrastinate together. I have a legitimate crown to showcase that I am the queen of putting things off. You have no idea how many times I’ve had the exact thought of “WHY ME???!!!” It took a lot of self reflection and (sometimes forced) positivity to see that exactly what mountholyoke said is true—-we might not be medaling Olympians or inspiring entrepreneurs, but we were both selected for a reason. Side note: If you mosey around campus at any time, you can see the intense variety among the student body. I knew I HAD to attend MoHo when on my first visit I saw girls in all black smoking on a roof, a photo shoot among friends featuring hula hoops and flower crowns, AND a stunning wedding. ANOTHER PLUS: with all the fun that occurs, I also noted that the library was always full. IT’S A FANTASY LAND. You can find your people here. I guarantee it. I’m getting warm fuzzies about it and feel the need to tag wafflehouse666 and avec-espoir.

Aw, Katie! I’m a huge flower crown supporter too. Other than that, well said! :) To the person that originally wrote this: We’re moving in 26 days! If you’re terrified/excited/totally freaking out and questioning your entire life… that’s very human and you aren’t the only one. Try not to look at yourself as less than deserving, though, because that’s what it sounds like you’re doing. Breathe. You are definitely not the only one that procrastinates. It also sounds like you might be a bit of a perfectionist and someone who “overthinks” in a very self-critical way. If that’s the case, I can tell you that you aren’t the only one. I think it’s normal to a) romanticize something that hasn’t happened yet and b) constantly worry that reality won’t meet your expectations. You will find people that you fit with because life is about finiding your tribe and all of that. If you really need someone to talk to I’m definitely here. Get excited, darling! We’re really fortunate to have such a wonderful place to go earn our degrees.